Posted on

Vulva Massage

www.madamegiselle.co.za

There’s a lot more to the vulva and vagina than just the clitoris and g-spot. In fact, even the term “g-spot” is a misnomer. And while taking an anatomy lesson just to have sex might seem extreme, a little knowledge can go a very long way.

When you understand what’s going on with the body, especially what’s going on beyond what you can see, you can access whole worlds of pleasure that might otherwise go unexplored.

For starters, it’s important to know that every single body is different. So while knowledge of anatomy and technique is very helpful, nothing replaces communicating with your partner if you’re playing with another person. Not only can people have wildly different preferences,but people’s anatomy can. Have significant variations too.

An Intro to Vulva Anatomy

The inner and outer labia come in varying shapes and sizes, as well as having different innervation – meaning the nerve endings can be in different places and in different densities. This affects both sensitivityand pleasure.

The glans of the clitoris – the part you can see from the outside – can also vary in location. For some people it’s closer to the vaginal opening and for others it’s further away. This can effect how much the glans of the clitoris is stimulated during penetration. The location of the urethral opening also varies, having a similar impact on pleasure.

Beyond the part of the clitoris you can see, there’s a
whole clitoral complex made up of the clitoral legs and vestibular bulbs. Those structures lay roughly beneath the labia and can be stimulated both externally and internally

How Anatomy and Pleasure Intersect

So, what does all of this mean for touch and pleasure? It means you’ve got a lot of options!

The arousal process takes different amounts of time for different people, but the clitoral complex can take as much as 40 minutes to become fully engorged. And this engorgement contributes to pleasure, so it’s worth taking the time to get really turned on. Things that might feel irritating, ticklish, or even painful can feel good when in a heightened state of arousal, and that’s good news for the varieties of touch that are possible.

During arousal, both the visible part of the clitoris and the underlying structures engorge, and the labia also swell. For some bodies, lubrication also occurs. Whether there’s natural lubrication or not, adding body safe lube is always a good idea before any genital touch happens.

Beginning the Massage

As you’re beginning to touch, keep in mind that most people have had experiences where things happened too fast or were painful. So, it can be really helpful to move slowly, and to check-in both before touch happens, and before touch escalates. These check-ins help set people at ease, and relaxation contributes to pleasure.

Don’t make a bee-line for the vulva. Instead, warm up the whole body with massage and gentle sensations. Touch the chest, belly, and thighs. This is a great time to check-in about pressure and speed – and this check-in is also a great time to set the tone for the communication you’ll use during the whole process.

Giving a choice between two things is generally more effective than a yes or no question. So instead of asking, “is this okay?” try questions like, “harder or softer,” “left or right,” faster or slower,” and so on.

Moving to the Vulva

Once you’re ready for genital touch, place your hand over the whole vulva. Let the body get used to being touched in that area and continue to remind your partner things won’t move at a speed they aren’t ready for. With your hand covering the vulva, try slow movements of your whole hand, experimenting with pressure.

Remember that there is pleasure in anticipation, and the worst thing that can happen with going too slow is your partner asking for more – which is a good problem to have. Even once genital touch has begun, don’t forget the rest of the body. Make eye contact, check-in, and use your free hand to explore other areas.

Touch is for the giver as well as the receiver. Don’t forget to enjoy the sensations of touching, while focusing on your partner’s experience.

For external stimulation, try gentle patting or tapping across the vulva. This causes vibrations that can wake up the underlying structures.

Onto the Labia

Next, try exploring the outer and inner labia. Remember that pressure here can stimulate the structures below. Using both hands, press your thumbs against the outer labia and run them up and down, like you’re giving a gentle neck massage. Be sure to check-in about pressure. Experiment with the exact placement of your thumbs, whether out towards the bikini line, directly on top of the labia, or sliding along the inner edge.

You can also try gently squeezing the outer labia between your thumb and index finger and sliding up and down, or softly rolling them between your fingers. Even pulling a little bit canbe pleasurable.

Try all of those same techniques on the inner labia, if they’re prominent enough to holdbetween your fingers, otherwise simply explore pressure in the area inside the outer labia.

Position yourself next to your partner, so you can look into their face or even kiss and reachdown with one hand. Explore using two fingers to stroke along the inner and outer labia. Next try using three fingers, but keep the middle finger neutral, not pinpointing the clit or thevaginal opening, rather just grazing past those areas while continuing to focus on the labia.

Play with Pressure and Movement

Alternating all of these techniques with an eye towards your partner’s preferences can
be very pleasurable and give you a chance to improvise and respond to their reactions. You
can move up and down, or in a circular motion- up one labia and down the other. You can
alternate between inner and outer labia, and you can play with different amounts of pressure, squeezing, and gentle pulling. If it’s comfortable, experiment with some deep pressure, either withfingers or thumbs, to see how fully you can engage theunderlying structures.

When touching with just one hand, try placing the other on the pubic mound and either holding steady, applying some pressure, or even trying small movements or circular motions. Intense or concentrated pressure can be alternated with feather light touches or strokes (if your partner isn’t ticklish.)

Don’t Forget to Explore

When engaging in vulva massage, you’re not aiming for a quick, direct path to orgasm. This is about exploring depths of pleasure and new sensations, and it can be very pleasurable to allow arousal to move in waves. Growing arousal at times, and easing off for a bit, before returning to growing arousal again.

If orgasm is ultimately something you’re looking for, this can lead to a more powerful orgasm. And even without looking for orgasm, this varied path can lead to a deeper, fuller experience.

Bringing in Clitoral Stimulation

If you’d like to incorporate clitoral stimulation, wait for significant arousal and check inbefore moving to this kind of touch. Remember that the glans is often very sensitive, and the clitoral hood and other tissue are there to protect it. So don’t move that tissue aside tofocus on the glans, rather use that tissue to your advantage to allow your fingers to moveand slide around the sides of the clitoris and clitoral shaft.

Using your thumb and index finger, find the clitoral shaft by gently squeezing at the base of the visible part of the clitoris. You should feel the shaft between your fingers, and likely have just enough room to slide your fingers up and down the shaft. This can be done at varyingspeeds and amounts of pressure, depending on preference. For some people this is very arousing and can lead to orgasm, so this is another great chance to play with waves of arousal and moving towards and away from orgasm.

Use the communication techniques and questions like “left or right,” as some people have a preference as to which side of their clit is stimulated, and some people like both.

You can also use some of the same techniques you used on the labia, gently pinchingthe clitoral shaft between your fingers and trying pulling or rolling the shaft. If it’s not too sensitive, you can also move your fingers across the head of the clit, starting with a verylight touch, and not pinpointing this area for too long.

Include the Introits

The introits is the opening of the vaginal canal, and this area can be very sensitive to touch, even without penetration. Especially when the underlying structures are engorged, stimulation in this area can be very pleasurable. It can also be a good exercise to spend time focusing on this area without moving to penetration. Not only is it pleasurable on its own, but for people who enjoy penetration this can be a pleasant tease.

Try using your thumbs around the opening, pressing down and massaging deeply. Or if you’re lying next to yourpartner, try some of the two or three finger touchtechniques used on the labia. You can also runthe pads of two or three fingers across the wholeopening. If building towards orgasms, some people like that movement across the introits to

be at a high speed.

On some bodies the part of the urethral sponge that becomes especially engorged during arousal can be seen from the outside, pressing into the vaginal opening. If it isn’t immediately apparent, spreading the labia a bit sometimes exposes this area. If the urethral sponge (or g-spot) is visible, this same motion across theintroits can stimulate this area as well.

www.kinkly.com

for all sorts of tips and tricks