Why Arguing leads to makeup sex.
Sexual feelings are complicated. Thanks a lot, biology! When and why sexy feelings arise is one of the pieces of a pretty confusing puzzle. Often we find ourselves turned on in the strangest of circumstances. For instance, when we’ve accomplished something taxing, when we’re finished with a hard workout … or even after an argument.
Have you ever had a fight with your partner and suddenly stopped in your tracks to realize all of this wild emotion has you super, super horny? It’s like there is a fire lit inside you and even though you’re SO pissed, you want to ravage your SO.
Now, this won’t always happen. There are times after a particularly intense fight when you won’t want to look at your partner, let alone partake in any intimate touch. But at other times, heated arguments or all-out verbal brawls can you leave you riled up not only emotionally, but sexually as well.
Why does being pissed off and angry lead to horniness for some people? Don’t worry, if you’ve found yourself itching for anything from passionate anger-fucking to makeup sex, it’s all completely normal. Here’s what you need to know.
Related Read: Why Pain Makes Us Horny
Your Feelings Are Transferred
It’s probably not super shocking to hear that emotions and feelings are confusing and often don’t come with simple explanations. They don’t always make sense to the logical brain. Sometimes when you’re in a fight with your partner, those feelings of frustration or anger transfer into feelings of arousal. All of a sudden that animalistic passion you were pouring into your fight make you want to rip your clothes off and pounce like a wild beast.
This flood of emotions after a fight can trigger the nervous system, sending signals of anger to the brain and body. The feelings are then perceived as feelings of sexual arousal. Usually, when we’re in a state of panic or fear, the nervous system shuts down sexual feelings, but not always. Anger and passion are closely linked (just like many of our most powerful emotions).
Plus, there are so many related hormones in the mix here. When you’re angry, adrenaline is pumping through your system, your heart rate increases, and your cheeks flush. This is not so different from how you feel when you’re looking to get some sweet/hot/dirty/kinky lovin’.
Fighting Can Get You “Drunk,” Just Like Love
Barring those particularly nasty and hurtful fights where you say things you may not be able to take back (we’ve all been there), there is a feeling of excitement and passion that comes with heated disagreement. If you’re arguing your side of a point, one you feel strongly about, it can ignite your whole body in the process.
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Fighting with someone shows your power and the power of your partner. Frankly, seeing someone get fired up about something that they feel passionately about, or angry about, or care a great deal about, is kind of sexy. You may find you suddenly go from being drunk with rage to drunk with passion.
The Power of Makeup Sex
Makeup sex is often seen as some of the most powerful sex we have when in relationships. It’s a way to remind our partners and ourselves that we’re strong, no matter how much we argue. At the end of the day, we love each other.
Plus, sex is a way to relieve stress and bookend a fight with something positive. It has a powerful way of bringing people together and reinforcing pair bonds that are unique to romantic partnerships. The flood of oxytocin and dopamine brings you closer and allows you to experience that love connection. When you fight, ending negative feelings with feelings of love is a way to clean the slate with your partner.
Basically, getting horny after fighting is often a way for the mind and body to heal after high-stress emotions have been flooding through your systems. Since the brain is a complex system of interlocking parts, feelings of anger light up similar places of the brain as love and passion. Often it’s hard to see definitive lines between feelings, however extreme, because the lines simply do not exist.
So, is anyone else itching for a passionate argument or is it just me?